Your Intuition: Better Than A Crystal Ball!

I learned a difficult lesson yesterday. I had this funny feeling something was off with one of my personal relationships but I thought perhaps I was just being insecure. I chose to place my trust in someone else instead of in myself and when things blew up I was kicking myself because I just kept saying "I knew it, I KNEW it!"

Sound familiar?

Hindsight is always 20/20, or so the saying goes. What I'm speaking of here isn't about your worst fears coming true and then wishing you had the foresight to prevent them. I'm talking about that little voice that constantly prods and pokes you in the back of your skull until you listen. For some people it's little more than a weird feeling, perhaps a thought you can't seem to shake. For others, like myself, it is a strong clear message that all but thrusts its hand in the air, waving wildly, and screaming "Oh, oh! Pick me, pick me! Over here! I know the answer!"

I have paid particular attention in the past two years to developing my intuition.  I realized, one day, how often I was right about certain things, so I decided to be more mindful about this voice and made the conscious effort to take the action towards which I was guided. It has become an invaluable tool for decision making and led me to pay attention to situations and opportunities I may have ignored in the past.

Developing your intuition can be a valuable tool for you too. Intuition is something we all have, and practicing with it, like most things, will lead to greater success and self-trust.

Try this simple exercise the next time you are faced with a difficult decision.
Let's pretend you can't make the all important, life altering decision on whether to munch on bacon or chocolate.

Close your eyes and center yourself. Hold out your right palm in front of you and say to yourself "In my right hand is bacon." Do the same with your left and say to yourself "In my left hand is chocolate." Then ask yourself if you should eat bacon or chocolate. Literally weigh the idea in your palms and see if one feels heavier than the other. The heavier hand is your intuition helping you identify the best decision for you (chocolate will always weigh heavier in my book). It may surprise you or even disappoint you, but it won't lead you astray.

10 Reasons I Love My Body

Yesterday, after reading Tiffany's blog post about 10 things to appreciate about your body, I committed to coming up with my own list. Here it is!

1. My curls! My curly hair has always been a defining factor that sets me apart from the crowd.
2. My white skin. The envy of many who have spent too many hours in the elements.
3. My long eyelashes. They should hire me for mascara commercials.
4. My round cheeks. I think those are primarily why people think I'm about 10 years younger than I am.
5. My smile. Thanks to my orthodontist, I like to display it as often as I can.
6. My breasts. I actually like my modest size and know few women who say the same.
7. My hands and feet. Both are tiny and delicate.

Ummmmm.....I'm stuck! Might have to reach for the less obvious.

8. My strength. I may be small, but I am mighty.
9. My ability to withstand heat. I don't mind the hot Phoenix summers and rather enjoy my sweaty Bikram yoga classes.
10. My immune system. I am lucky to have been healthy my whole life and rarely get sick.

Ha! Did it! It was a little more challenging than I expected until I realized I could appreciate my body from the inside too. Now it's your turn. I would love to hear your favorite aspect of your body in the comments!

11. My body allows me to dance!

You: Beautiful

Early this morning I was reading an article on the Dukan Diet (which I don't recommend), but an incidental statement near the end of the article really resonated with me. Dr. Dukan wrote a book called "Men Prefer Curves" from which this statement appears:

“Your hips, your thighs, the roundness of your face and knees are natural sexual transmitters implanted in you since the origins of mankind.” Women who are “curvy, even very curvy, fleshy or busty” should learn to use their bodies, he added, to facilitate “pleasure, seduction and the commitment of a man.”

Sounds pretty good, right? Starting to appreciate those curves a bit more now, are we?

Christina Hendricks: Try to tell me her curves aren't amazing!

Minutes later a friend instant messaged me and started asking me detailed questions about her diet and why she can't seem to lose any more weight. After giving her some suggestions I really thought about it for a moment. I know this woman, and the reason she probably can't lose those last few pounds is because she doesn't need to. She's already beautiful, active and healthy.

Next up, I received a tweet from Sanz Plans with a link to her blog post on calling a truce with our bodies and ending the hate speech. It really makes you think about how often you throw out negative statements like "if I weren't so fat, I'd wear that dress" or "my boobs are too small to be sexy." We do it so often, we don't even notice! This is such a shame. Start paying attention to the way you talk about yourself and when you catch a negative statement, change it into something positive, or don't say anything at all.

But wait! There's more! While trolling Facebook this afternoon a new friend I met recently published a wonderful blog post on appreciating your body. Tiffany listed 10 reasons why she loves her body. This is a great idea and I strongly suggest you try this too. In fact, I will commit to doing this with you and write a separate post on my 10 favorite things about my physical self.

American women in particular have a distorted view of what a beautiful and sexy body is. We all think we have to look like a Victoria's Secret model. You know what? All of my male friends think they're too skinny and appreciate the curves of a real woman. I will always remember one of my personal trainers because I was complaining about cellulite one day. He says to me, "Men honestly don't notice that sort of thing. Cellulite is just part of a woman and it doesn't make you any less beautiful to us." Dan, you will always have a spot in my heart for that statement.

My invitation to you is to read this post, read the others I've linked to here, and really think about what your body does for you. It may not be perfect but it serves you well and appreciating it will go a long way towards satisfaction of your body image. Remember those 10 reasons you love yourself? Write it down and post it on the bathroom mirror if you have to. It's time to make peace with your body!

Quality Time with Others

My upcoming move has presented a lot of opportunities for people to tell me they will miss me. People who I had assumed were on the periphery of my social circle suddenly seem to be in a panic that I am leaving. Strangest of all, the acquaintances and friends that I do fully enjoy yet never seem to see have even resorted to bribery to keep me in Phoenix. "I'm going to miss you so much!" they all say. I'm touched and appreciate the sentiment graciously, however, I don't quite get it. These people see me but once or twice a year, if that. If you feel so strongly about the inability to spend time with me, why haven't you?

I don't intend to sound condescending here. These are people I care about and I'm glad my presence has made an impact in their lives.  It does make me realize though, how often we put off spending time with those we love and enjoy.  I often have free time with nothing to do. It would be so easy for me to pick up the phone and call someone I haven't seen in a while. What stops me? What's stopping you?

Everyone else is busier than I am. That's my excuse, anyway. Most of my friends are now married and have families and busy careers. I fell out of the habit of the spontaneous lunch or evening coffee with my friends because I got turned down too many times. Now I just assume that I can't ask Jane to lunch because she's always busy. And Jane? She may have had to turn me down nine times, but I'm sure she still wants to feel like she's important. Maybe that tenth time, she'll say yes.

It makes me realize how little time we actually spend with face to face interaction. Now that my time in Phoenix is drawing to a close I feel like I want to cram quality time in with dozens of people. I should have been spending quality time with them all along.

Here's an invitation for you. Scroll down your email contact list or Facebook friends and find that person that you always enjoy spending time around, yet you haven't seen in too long. Call them, email them, tell them you miss them and would like to see them. Don't leave it vague though, actually set a date and do your best to stick to it. I bet you'll have an amazing time reconnecting.

Anything Can Be

As some of you know, I am getting ready to make my move to Austin, Texas. This has been a difficult decision and especially lately, it seems the universe has been throwing obstacles in my path. I am not deterred, but it does occasionally make me wonder if I am making the right decision.

Yesterday, I was going through my bookshelf, weeding out unnecessary items I don't wish to pack.  I have a few Shel Silverstein books from my childhood and as I picked one up, I thought, I really don't need this, I'm never going to read it again though it carries fond memories for me.  I opened up A Light in the Attic to a random page and the first poem I saw was this:

“Listen to the mustn'ts, child. 

Listen to the don'ts. 

Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. 

Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... 

 Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

It was just what I needed to see at a time when I am facing a lot of doubt and fear. Anything can happen, and I look forward to the new opportunities this move will bring me. Needless to say, I kept the book.